Resonance
by Aries Draco
Summary: Post AC. They died with the promise of going back together, forgetting that he was waiting on the other side, waiting to rise once more. The discordant note from years past resonates on, the players are called back on stage... SHMcentric. Chap 7 up.
1. Make a promise to yourself

Promises

Warnings: Contains one kiss of boylove nature.

01: Make a promise to yourself

He had promised that they were going home together.

Loz pulled the white sheets over his head as he huddled into a corner of the bed. He hadn't realized that it would be this home. This room, this bed. Still, he had thought that it would be ok, because Yazoo said they were going home together. Then he had looked around.

Yazoo wasn't there.

The room was painfully bright, as he remembered, but there wasn't the second bed pushed up against the other wall. There wasn't his brother sitting on beside said bed, casually re-shaping the metal into something interesting to play with. It wouldn't have been that bad.

Then the white people came in. And he realized that he had gone back, back to when he was only a small, helpless child, when he was so frail that the white men took special interest in him. He'd screamed, he'd screamed and screamed.

He started at the sound of the bed creaking, drawing the stark white sheets closer. It was stupid, bloody stupid, but maybe, if he couldn't see them, they wouldn't be able to see him. Maybe the white camouflaged him.

Maybe Yazoo was coming soon, and Yazoo would frown at him and Yazoo would tell him that that was no way for a boy to behave. And he would cry and aniki would look around awkwardly, before giving him a hug and telling him that it was ok. Everything would be ok, because they were together.

He wasn't going to give up. He wasn't.

He only wished that it wasn't so hard.

-

He had promised that they were going home together.

Yazoo slammed his fist against the invisible wall that materialized whenever he tried to leave the place. Kadaj was gone, as far as he knew. He could feel it the same way he could feel Sephiroth smirking calmly at him. The same way he could feel Loz crying.

But why was Kadaj forgiven while they were holed up in this emptiness? Was this to be their punishment? Why, then, was he trapped in this emptiness, as if he had been forgotten, when he could hear Loz crying for him?

Or was that his punishment?

He could only too well imagine what Loz was going through.

The screaming was starting again, desperate and despairing. Loz had stopped calling him by name some time ago, though he couldn't tell how long; time had no meaning here. All he knew was that desperation was creeping into that voice and it was a matter of time before Loz was broken.

He swore loudly when the screams dissolved back into choking sobs. There was laughter in his head and he spun menacingly.

_"What is it, puppet? Why so upset?"_

"Stop laughing, you bastard," hissed Yazoo. He wanted Velvet Nightmare and Sephiroth in front of him, just so that he could use the former on the latter. Ever since he had entered this place, Sephiroth had been a constant presence, not saying much, but irritating the hell out of him.

It was a constant reminder that they had all been used, even Kadaj, who'd seemed to be Mother's favorite. They'd all died to bring him back for a brief moment, only to have him defeated by nii-san and sent tumbling back into… wherever the hell he was prior to his resurrection.

And thus, Yazoo was trapped in this nothingness, listening to Loz reliving their worst memories…

Wait a moment. Memories? But, they had never lived, not like that… Then it clicked.

"This is your doing, isn't it?" breathed Yazoo. "What we are remembering now are your memories. But different?"

_"Poor, confused little puppet. I'm sure you're wondering right now, how much of 'you' is really 'you'."_

"Shut up." Memories. They belonged to Sephiroth, he was sure of it. Yet, why did he remember two beds? Why did he remember Loz being there? Why did he remember the tears, the nights, the warmth of the other half of his soul?

Sephiroth's will. His eyes widened as he saw the implications of his situation. He was arguing with Sephiroth. He, as a separate entity, was arguing with Sephiroth. Even though he was formed from a part of Sephiroth, he was also himself. There was no point wondering, no point pondering the past. He was himself.

_"Ah, give the boy a round of applause. You're much better at this than Cloud ever was. Of course, I have to claim some credit…"_

"Damn it, just shut the hell up, won't you! I'm not so weak as to fall for your tricks." He glared vaguely at where he supposed Sephiroth was located. "I won't be distracted."

_"You want to go to him, don't you?"_ purred that voice in his head.

"If you can't help, it's none of your fucking business," snarled Yazoo, fingers twitching for a gun that wasn't there. He stiffened in surprise. It was there. He was back in his leather attire and Velvet Nightmare was exactly where it was supposed to be. "What the…?"

_"Happy to get your gun back, puppet?"_

"Sephiroth…"

_"Yes, I can do that,"_ came the voice, sounding cruelly bemused. _"And more. Why don't we make a deal?"_

Yazoo narrowed his eyes, cradling his gunblade. "What are you saying?" he demanded.

_"It's simple, really. Though the Planet has been leeching my abilities during my stay here, I have also learnt to control the reality to some extent."_

"You can bring me to Loz."

_"Clever boy."_

"And you tell me this NOW? After he's been suffering for HOW LONG?"

Another bemused chuckle. _"I had to be sure that you would agree to the deal."_

"What. Is. It?" growled Yazoo lowly.

So Sephiroth told him, slowly, with great relish.

"You fucking lunatic, NO!"

_"Are you sure about that?"_ asked Sephiroth calmly, smirking.

Yazoo shut his eyes. The low sobbing at the back of his head was dying down to a simple, repeated prayer.

_"Aniki, help…"_

He looked up to where he presumed Sephiroth would be.

_"I knew you would see things my way."_

_- _

Loz winced as he heard the doors being flung open. Not again, please, not again. The sheet, being pulled back slowly…

"Loz?" called a familiar voice softly, tinted with anger and sorrow.

It… it couldn't be. Wide-eyed, Loz looked up.

"Aniki?" he whispered. No, it couldn't be. It had to be some illusion, some new form of torture. Besides, if he was like this, why wasn't Yazoo back to this age as well?

Yazoo stared as the boy backed away from him, huddling against the wall, eyes wide and frightened. He remembered that expression, from their shared memories. It never happened… but it was real. Here, it was real. And, if they were to commit themselves to live, it would always be real.

He could tell Loz now, he could tell his brother that none of this ever happened, that their memories were mere perversions of their progenitor's, but where would that leave them? They wouldn't be 'Yazoo' and 'Loz' anymore. It _could_ wipe the pain off that face, but he was a selfish creature. He wanted to exist.

"Yes, I'm here. We're getting out of here," he told the boy, reaching out to take the trembling hand, fighting to suppress a bitter smile.

His hair fell forward and, in that bent-over position, it touched the white floor. Loz stared at his brother. Yazoo's hair wasn't that long, right? But it was Yazoo. That was Velvet Nightmare holstered where it should be.

"Loz…"

He looked up into the person's eyes.

"Aniki…"

His hand looked so fragile on top of his brother's leather-clad one.

"Let's go."

-

Loz was frailer than he'd expected. He could hardly feel the weight of the boy in his arms. Then again, while he was, more or less, back to his normal form, Loz had remained a boy of six. At least… at least he was here, right?

_"Don't forget your part of the deal…"_

Yazoo's lips twisted into a snarl briefly, holding his brother a little more tightly. His eyes softened when the boy stirred.

"Aniki?"

"Don't worry, I'm here," he told the boy gently.

Loz stared up at him, then buried his face in his brother's jacket. From the trembling shoulders, Yazoo knew that he was crying.

"Why did you take so long?" mumbled the boy between sobs, nearly incoherent. "You promised…"

Yazoo ran his fingers through the short silver hair, hugging Loz closer to him. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I was late. But I'm here now, and I won't let you be hurt anymore."

He drew the boy up so that they were face to face. Tenderly, he brushed the tears away, then leaned forward and kissed his brother.

Loz felt his face heat up a little, but Yazoo was just so warm. He shut his eyes, allowing his brother to just hold him. It felt so safe, safer than a mother's breast. For once in his life, he felt truly loved.

Gently, Yazoo drew away, the taste lingering on his lips. Loz opened his eyes, looking shyly up at his elder brother. His brother looked right back at him, eyes not-quite hiding some strange emotion.

"Aniki? Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing," replied Yazoo after a moment. He bit his lip as Loz snuggled against him, smiling up at him. Suddenly, he tightened his hold on Loz and held the boy close. "I love you, okay?" he told the child. "No matter what happens, I'll always love you."

He watched the pure joy spread across his brother's young face, bending forward and placing a gentle kiss on the boy's forehead. Then, he cast Sleep.

Holding the limp body close to himself, he turned toward Midgar and began to walk, long silver hair blowing in the wind.

170406


	2. You'd Think It's Strange

A/N: Some explanations. This fic has got nothing to do with my other, on-going Advent Children humour fic. It does, however, draw on the same ideas as 'Purpose'. There is not going to be romance. I think.

Ah. Aniki elder brother. A rather affectionate term, I believe, compared to nii-san, which is what they call Cloud.

Resonance

02: You'd think it's strange

He dreamt that he died and was being punished, but that was only a dream, because aniki had pulled back the covers and woken him up. Smiling, he turned over in his sleep, his brother's coat acting as a blanket and protection against the hardness of the floor. He opened his eyes, looking straight into the wide eyes of his reflection.

His reflection in the blade of the sword stabbed into the ground right beside his head.

Almost instantly, he rolled onto his feet. He recognized that sword. Even half-buried, it was taller than his current form. Someone had driven it into the ground. Someone had managed to wield that monster blade and bury half its length into the hard earth.

Aniki.

Loz looked around in panic. Where was aniki? For that matter, where was he? He had fallen asleep? No, he had been put to sleep.

There was no one in the area. It gave him some leeway to start thinking. He remembered… the white room and the space that wasn't. He remembered being sheltered by his brother, a long period much like the period between dreaming and waking. Then, he woke and discovered that he had to breathe again.

He remembered dying. He remembered living. Somewhere in his mind, warning bells chimed just out of earshot, the figure 'two years' leaping out meaninglessly at him. He remembered his youth and his brother. _Youth?_

He was alive again. Aniki had brought them back into the world of the living. How? Why? And why was he six again? _I was never six…_

Where was ani… Yazoo? Why the heck was Sephiroth's sword impaled beside where he was sleeping?

Loz bit his lip to keep from whimpering, crouching down on the ground. Glinting from under the coat was something he had not noticed before. The one thing his brother would never have left behind. Velvet Nightmare.

Then, it had to be Sephiroth. The thought blazed into his head like a beacon piercing the mist. Sephiroth must have taken Yazoo. If they had returned to life, perhaps Sephiroth did as well.

It didn't matter to him that the notion was, in a word, insane. It didn't occur to him that, if it had been Sephiroth, the sword would have passed though his head, rather than beside. The hatred swelling in him lent him strength and he clung onto it because, otherwise, he would be weak.

Somewhere behind him, he heard a gasp and a female voice.

"Oh my god."

-

"I'm not carrying that dead weight around," declared Yazoo, braiding up his now obnoxiously long hair.

_"You'll have to learn to use it sooner or later."_

The silver-haired gunman sneered. "What's the use of that over-sized cleaver?"

The voice in his head sighed melodramatically before snatching control of his body and slamming the blade deep into the ground beside Loz's face. Yazoo nearly had a heart attack.

_"Let's put it this way: You can use the sword, or I can use the sword."_

"Asshole, you promised…!" hissed Yazoo.

_"Not to harm him? Does he look 'harmed' to you?"_

Seething, Yazoo packed Loz up a little more securely. The boy looked so peaceful and happy. His anger faded into resignation as he laid his Velvet Nightmare beside his little brother. If all went well, Loz would be found by the next morning. And he would be safe here.

The gun, he would leave to Loz. It made him feel a little better about leaving his brother here all alone. At least the Velvet Nightmare offered some protection.

Finally, after dallying for every conceivable reason, he got up to go.

_"What about the sword?"_

"Excuse me, but you drove the blade halfway into the bloody ground! How am I supposed to get it out?" demanded Yazoo.

_"You call it,"_ said Sephiroth impatiently. _"After all, you do realize that the Masamune is just another manifestation of my will."_

"In that case, why don't I spare myself the trouble of carrying that thing by calling it later, when we are far away enough from here to thrash out the exact terms of our contract?"

Inwardly, Yazoo grinned as Sephiroth's presence radiated annoyance. You took your victories when you got them.

-

Her name came unbidden to his mind. They had fought, before, but for the moment, he was a child. A weak little child. He felt the tears welling up, willing them angrily away. He would not, could not cry. Aniki would be so disappointed if he did.

Clutching the Velvet Nightmare to his chest, he ducked behind the Masamune and stared at the woman.

They had fought before because… because of Mother. Yes, they had been searching for Mother and this woman got in the way. But Mother only wanted Sephiroth. This woman was one of those who opposed Sephiroth. And she was with… she was with…

His eyes widened as he spied the familiar blonde head coming up behind her.

"Nii-san…"

Before he could say another word, he found himself face to face with the tip of the man's sword.

-

It was instinct, really, once he laid eyes on that demonic weapon. He didn't even see the child until the tip of his own blade was poised between those aqua eyes.

A child with silver hair and green eyes?

Another avatar, perhaps? It just never ended, did it? So long as a single cell of Jenova remained, the planet was tainted and Sephiroth, that bastard, would persist in trying to take over the world.

All he had to do was to thrust forward and it would all be over.

Large green eyes stared up at him, frightened. Green eyes with slit pupils, _but no mako glow_.

Slowly, Cloud lowered his sword. The child was trembling, holding onto a familiar looking gun like it was a soft toy. Though standing in a pool of black leather, he was dressed in a white, oversized t-shirt and three-quarter pants. Beside the monstrous length of the Masamune, he looked positively tiny.

"What's your name?" asked Cloud finally.

The child bit his lip, as if trying not to cry. "Loz," he whispered, deliberately avoiding Cloud's eyes.

"That's the one I fought in the Church," chimed Tifa's voice. "Only…" She trailed off, staring at the little boy.

"Why are you here?" Seeing as Tifa's comment needed no reply, Cloud continued with his questioning.

"Aniki left me…" The child stopped abruptly, as if hearing it for the first time, then a horrified look crossed his pale face. "Sephiroth… Sephiroth took aniki away!"

"'Aniki'?" echoed Tifa, glancing over at Cloud. "Wasn't that what they called you?"

Kneeling down before the little boy, Cloud made him look up. "Then, he's really back again?" he demanded sharply. The child nodded, crying out in shock when the man grabbed him by the shoulders.

Cloud's blue eyes iced over. He was sick to the core of the entire Sephiroth business. He was no hero; he hadn't wanted to be one since his first, fatal encounter with the Masamune. But, having fought the madman time and time again, it had been proven that no one else could take his place.

"Tell me everything you know," he stated coldly. "Or I'll kill you."

-

In the ruins, there was a pool. And in the pool, there was a body. And on the body, there was a hand. It clenched.

020906


	3. Obsessions, oddities and not a lass

A/N: Well, here you go. Another chapter written when I should be doing something else. I'm glad some people are enjoying this as much as I enjoy writing it.

And if anyone felt that Cloud was acting a little out of character, I put it down to post traumatic stress disorder.

Resonance

03: Obsessions, Oddities and Not a Lass

Yazoo shivered. Perhaps he should not have left his coat behind after all. But at least Loz would be safe. No one could possibly kill a child. Right? He had faith in that.

After dropping Loz off at Midgar, he had hijacked a motorcycle and sped westward. Away, into the wilds, into monster territory. It would reduce the chances of being disturbed.

_"Well, now that you've settled that little creature of yours, I suppose I can start telling you what needs to be done."_

"Does it go something like, 'Learn to use my bloody big cleaver, get rid of a certain blonde annoyance, hijack the lifestream and sail the cosmos.'?" drawled Yazoo sarcastically.

There was a moment of irritated silence. _"Look, I don't need your help or even your cooperation, just your body and your cells, so if you like to keep your thinking privileges, stuff it."_

"I don't think so," said Yazoo lightly. His eyes were cold as he watched the road. "If you could have just taken a body and come back, you would have. There wouldn't have had to be the entire Kadaj debacle." The name brought back the associated memories and he could feel his blood boil. Fighting back the emotion, he continued, "And you wouldn't have had to ask me to make a deal with you."

_"Ha ha, very cleaver."_ Sephiroth's 'voice' sounded decidedly bitter. _"I probably should have picked the crybaby after all."_

"So, I'm right?"

_"I can still take over your body if I wanted to."_

Perhaps he was imagining it, but did Sephiroth sound a little… sulky?

_"I don't do 'sulky'!"_

And to prove his point, he jerked the bike off the road. The _cheap_ stolen bike with suspension worth nuts and about five kilometers worth of petrol left in the tank.

Now, Yazoo wasn't the type to lose his temper spectacularly. The closest he had ever come to it was when Cloud slashed his precious Velvet Nightmare into scrap metal. But as he picked himself out of the wreckage, he was screaming obscenities at the presence in his mind.

_"I didn't know there was such a word… uh, no, that's pretty much impossible, even as a disembodied presence. How would you even manage to get that up my…never mind."  
_

They were in the middle of nowhere. Yazoo kicked the remains of the bike and watched it burst into flames. The sound had attracted some curious monsters, which were now eying him like a piece of prime meat. A grim smile twisted across his dirt-smeared face, unwitting mirroring his progenitor's.

Without even thinking, he'd called the over-sized cleaver. He just needed to kill something.

-

"I need a sword."

The weapon shopkeeper glanced up at the door and stared. There was a girl standing there, long matted brown hair tumbling down her back. Her clothes were torn and tattered, as though rotted, pink and red stained with shades of brown and green. She looked like she had crawled through a forest to get here. However, the only thing the shopkeeper noticed was the pair of bright green eyes, staring intensely back at him. They almost glowed in the dim light.

"I need a sword," repeated the girl, impatience creeping into her voice. She threw a bag of gil onto the counter and stared at the shopkeeper. Waiting.

"What does a little girly like you need a sword for?" asked the shopkeeper, trying to keep his voice calm. There was something not right about the girl.

"I'm not a girly," said the girl darkly. "Show me the swords."

It was her eyes. He felt a shiver go down his spine. "Yes, yes, of course." Pushing a button, the wall slid open to reveal a selection of bladed weapons. The accompanying light made the girl's pupils contract into cat-like slits. Her eyes. They were not human eyes.

"That one," she said suddenly, pointing.

"This? We just got it from Wutai. Very fine craftsmanship." While making a show of picking it up, he turned suddenly and slashed at the girl's head. She caught his hand and rammed the double blades through his heart.

"Blunt," she mumbled absently. Now that the shopkeeper was not being a bother, she looked through the shop for a whetstone and cleaning materials. Her white face was impassive as she took what she needed.

She left the bag of gil as payment.

-

He told them about the promise, about the white room, about how his brother had found him. He told them about waking up, about the long silver hair, about the parting. In the end, all he had to tell was mostly worthless. The sword was the only proof of Sephiroth's return.

As he sobbed through his little tale, the hands that had dug into his shoulders held him instead. Somewhere in the process of it, he'd let the Velvet Nightmare go and began to cling onto Cloud. He felt the man stiffen suddenly, and the woman cry out.

The Masamune was gone. Sephiroth had called it.

"What… what are we going to do?" asked Tifa, looking over to Cloud for support.

"We wait."

"What?"

"We don't know where he is, if he's really back. We don't know if he has chosen another avatar or if he's got his own body back. We don't know what he is planning to do right now." Cloud spoke calmly, voice still frozen. "So we wait. It's Sephiroth, after all. We'll find him out once he starts to move."

Tifa nodded, looking clearly ill at ease. Then she looked at Loz. "How about him, then?"

The small boy looked up at his 'brother's' face. Impassively, Cloud looked back at him. "I have more questions," said the man simply. "Let's go."

-

"I guess this cleaver is mildly useful after all," drawled Yazoo, throwing the bloody sword aside in spite of the indignant yelp from Sephiroth.

_"If you're done venting…"_

"Never, as long as you're around."

Sephiroth chose to ignore that. Fine, so the bike was a bad judgment call. He could let that go. Yes he could.

_"We should get started collecting Mother's remaining cells."_

"Collecting Mot… Jenova's cells?"

_"They remain in those who still have geostigma. Flower bitch's rain was only on Midgar, after all."_ He spat the last few words, fuming at the thought of that interfering Cetra bitch, who had reached out from her grave to mock him.

Yazoo frowned. "And _how_ might one go about collecting cells off people?"

_"You eat them."_

-

Loz sat on the bed, hugging Yazoo's coat. He was afraid. After all, they had caused nii-san so many problems before. It was all because of Sephiroth, but would nii-san believe that? Remembering those cold, cold eyes, he shuddered. Would nii-san even care?

At least he was still alive here.

The door opened and he jumped.

"Nii-san," he offered in greeting.

The man said nothing, just staring at the boy, as if perplexed. Loz fidgeted uncomfortably, wishing he could hide beneath the coat and make everything go away. But nii-san wasn't going away.

"I told you everything I remember!" The words burst out in a shrill scream and he cowered at the sound of his own voice. "I…"

"Can you sense them?" asked nii-san, cutting off his babbling. "Can you sense where they are? Your brother, and Sephiroth?"

Before he could even consider the meaning of the questions, he was roughly grabbed and forced to look at the man. A cry of pain left his lips before he could suppress it.

"I… I don't know…" he choked out, half sobbing.

"If he's out there somewhere, you should be able to feel it. His will," insisted the man. "If there are any Jenova cells left in you, you will feel it."

The hands loosened their grip, then rested calmly on his face.

"Tell me if you can sense his will somewhere in this world."

Eyes tightly shut, Loz tried to concentrate. _Don't think about his hands, how they can kill you just like that. Don't think about his eyes, more intense than Sephiroth's will. Don't think about the sword, don't think about the rest of the world…_

He should have been able to sense Yazoo at least. His brother, the other half of soul. He should have. But where there was once a comforting presence, there was only emptiness.

He must have said something in reply to… to Cloud's question, but his mind couldn't process the words. All he knew was that he was being held very, very tightly.

151006


	4. Perspectives

A/N: I hope I'm not getting too tedious, now that the action is spaced out over three different places. Perhaps I should consider a different chapter format… I'll figure it out somehow. After all, this is still the beginning.

Hm, notes… I like reviews. I really, really like reviews. They inspire me to write faster. So thank you.

Resonance

04: Perspective

She was running, her child clutched tightly in her arms. Please, let her be going in the right direction. If she just got out of the woods… if she could just… "AAH!"

Tripping, she lost her grip on her little girl. Who was it who screamed? Perhaps it was her child. But when she saw the little body skewered on the double blades, the screaming didn't stop. Ah, so it was her voice after all.

"Don't worry, you're clean," proclaimed her attacker. As if it meant something.

"Monster!" she spat. "You monster! What have we ever done to you?"

Green eyes shimmered in the dark. "Damaged cells must be destroyed so that the body can heal." The corpse thudded to the ground with a flick of the killer's hand. She watched in horror as the… the monster stepped carelessly on and over the body of her little girl.

There was a cracking sound, bones breaking under those dirty, bare feet. A wretched, anguished cry burst from the mother's lips as she launched herself at her daughter's murderer.

"Don't touch her, you monster! Monster!"

For her troubles, she received a kick to the face. As the world grew dark about her, her fingers curled around the pink scrap of fabric.

"Murderer…"

-

It was a moonless night. On the grasslands, it made the sky look even wider and more remote.

"It must have been cold."

He turned his head, mildly annoyed at the voice disturbing the still night. "What must have been cold?" he asked, sneering ever so slightly.

"Out there, beyond the sky, where Mother came from," came the distant reply. It sounded almost dismayed. Disturbed, he turned to look at the teenager.

In those green eyes, he saw the glimmer of tears, not quite enough to mask the fear and doubt reflected in them.

"Everything will be alright once we find her," he told the teen carefully. "You, of all people, should know that, right?"

There was a long silence, and he couldn't help but sneak a glance at the youngest of the three of them. Then he went over and put an arm around the teen, fully expecting to be pushed away. Kadaj had always been the independent one (to put it nicely. One might call him an arrogant prick, but only on his bad days, out of earshot).

Instead, the teen leaned quietly against him, still staring at the vast expanse of sky, giving no reply to his query. Reading the loneliness in those wet green eyes, he, too, fell silent. It was the price of being chosen, the price of knowledge, the price of independence. They couldn't help shoulder the burden, but for awhile, perhaps, he could give the boy a little respite…

-

For a moment, he didn't know where he was. Above him was only darkness. Then the stars resolved themselves in his sight. He could feel the wetness on his face. A memory, a real one, unlike those inherited from his progenitor. Was the bastard watching this too?

But why was he crying? Kadaj alone had been pardoned, leaving the two elders to rot. Leading to this messed up chain of events… no, that wasn't true. The root of the current situation reached way, way back, to the moment Sephiroth was created. No, more accurately, it was when Sephiroth finally met his 'Mother' and made a decision. It was Sephiroth's will causing these ripples to form and distort….

Or perhaps it all began when a planet killer crashed though the sky onto this forsaken planet. Who could tell? So much had happened from then till now, so many paths forsaken to leave this single chain linking past to present.

Now what? It was Sephiroth's last gamble. Mothe… Jenova was gone, save a few stray cells they would be rounding up. Kadaj, the casualty of the last round of games, was gone too, together with Jenova's head that was briefly part of him. As part of their deal, even Loz was left with only a few cells, enough to preserve his personality, his memories, no more than what you would find in one with the stigma. The rest of what remained of Jenova's body was now concentrated in him. No more clones, no more puppets, just one unwilling idiot who made a contract.

And if Sephiroth won this time?

His eyes widened. If Sephiroth won this time…

-

Waiting.

He was the one who voiced the strategy, but the knowledge that Sephiroth could be out there somewhere harming people ate at him as much as anyone else. Everyone had to know that. Just because someone had to keep calm to steer in the storm didn't mean that he wasn't as worried or as concerned as the rest of the headless chickens running around. Fortunately, he had managed to convince Tifa not to tell the rest about Loz. There would have been more explaining than he really cared to do.

After the many-way phone conference, it was concluded that everyone should remain where they were and just observe the situation. Once more, it was up to him to state this very clearly. Once more, he was compelled by circumstances to take up the position of leader. One more reason to hate his ex-idol.

He made his escape the moment the meeting ended, locking himself in his room so that he didn't have to talk about it anymore. For a moment, he forgot about the boy inside.

Loz. On their previous encounters, he had been a snarling, towering man who had no problems recovering from one of Tifa's throws. He was also blown up by the morbid excess of materia he was trying to wield, together with the other guy. Yazoo, wasn't it?

But they were both back, only that Loz was now a little boy and Yazoo was quite clearly missing. The kid was convinced that his 'aniki' had been taken away by Sephiroth. He was probably right, just not in the way he meant it. If Sephiroth's mode of operation hadn't changed, which was highly likely (the egotistical bastard), the man known as Yazoo had probably become his puppet.

Just as he had once been, just as Kadaj…

The boy had cried himself to sleep earlier on. Lying on top of the dark sheets, partly wrapped in a black leather coat, his face looked chalk white. It looked as though he was having nightmares.

Frowning slightly, Cloud sat down on the bed. Yet another casualty, falling before Sephiroth's selfish delusions. The child had been utterly shattered by his inability to sense his beloved brother. It couldn't have been an act. Somehow, he just knew that Loz was one person incapable of deceit.

"Aniki," whimpered the child softly. "Aniki, help…"

Nightmares. He remembered the description of the white room and shuddered. Gently, he touched the boy, waking him.

In the flurry of motion that followed, he ended up with one trembling boy firmly attached to his neck. This was followed by moment of silence when said boy realized exactly who he was clinging to.

-

_I'mgoingtodie._

It was the only thought in his head as he froze in realization of what he was doing. The thought promptly died an ignoble death when arms wrapped around him in what was unmistakably a hug. Thereafter, his mind gave up trying to make sense of the world and yelled at him to just enjoy it while he could.

"Nightmares?" asked the voice very softly. The razor edge that had been present in all previous questioning was nowhere to be found. Instead, nii-san sounded almost… concerned?

Tentatively, he raised his head to look at the man. Had he really seen a reflection of Sephiroth in this person looking down at him? Nodding shyly in reply to the inquiry, he dropped his head.

"Are you hungry?" asked nii-san.

With the reminder, Loz realized that yes, he was starving. He hadn't eaten a single thing since he woke in the morning. His stomach replied for him, eliciting a soft laugh from the man.

"I guess I should get you some food."

There was a sudden knock on the door, wiping the beginnings of the smile from Cloud's face.

"Cloud…"

"If it's anything to do with Sephiroth, I'm not here," said the man sharply. "We've been talking about it for the past three hours. I think that's enough."

"What about the boy?"

"…"

Loz chanced a glance at his nii-san. The woman was asking about him. What would she ask? He'd fought her before, before his… death. Was she still angry?

"Come on, let's get you some food," said the man softly, picking him up easily.

Tifa jumped when the door slammed open. Cloud was gone before she could even say a word. Uneasily, she watched him walk away with the silver-haired child in his arms.

-

The blades had tested clean. In the darkness of the late night or early morning, a single figure stumbled onward through a wood, a grotesque grin plastered across the too-pale face.

"Buy me a ticket back to paradise,  
"Where the flowers smell as sweet as death,  
"For, which fool would ask to be alive?"

He hummed softly, a nonsensical tune, even as his legs gave out and his body demanded rest. Ah, of course, he had forgotten. But maybe this was the way back.

"Buy me a ticket, back to paradise…"

161006


	5. The night is long, the road is cold

More introspection and narration in this one. Contains potentially disturbing ideas in relation to the torture the Turks went through at the hands of the trio.

Heh. I really, really, really, really should be working on my studies, but plot bunnies are persistent things.

Resonance

05: The Night is Long, The Road is Cold

_"He's been through a lot, don't you think so? Battle after battle after battle. He did it even though he didn't want to, even though it meant destroying his childhood dream. I think he deserves a break. You'll help him out, won't you?"_

_No, I won't. I don't want to. I don't want to go back. I don't want to go back and face that man. I don't want to leave here. Please don't make me leave. I don't want to. I don't want to. I DON'T WANT TO!_

-

She was worried. And upset. Yes, definitely upset. Just as things were going so well, just as Cloud was finally adjusting to himself, just as Cloud was opening up, Sephiroth had to pop up. Again. All it took was one mention of that man and Cloud was slamming the doors, all progress erased by in a few short seconds.

She hated that distant, self-pitying look on his face, as if he was too proud to accept help. Somewhere, deep down, she realized that Cloud had always been an insecure, lonely person and his behavior was justified in his mind because he never wanted to trouble anyone. It didn't make her any less upset to watch him hide himself away at the slightest sign of trouble.

And the boy? Loz, wasn't it? When she saw him that morning, she had been distracted by the fact that it was a child before her eyes. But who is to say that it wasn't all just an act? After all, hadn't Jenova said that illusions were elementary in her bag of tricks?

She remembered their first meeting, eyes darkening at the memory. Even back then, there had been something childish about the man. The simple vocabulary, disjointed sentences and the careless arrogance. But coupled with superhuman strength and a strong purpose, he had made for a very tiring fight. And he was the one to take Marlene away.

Cloud seemed to believe the boy. In fact, he had almost seemed relieved when he received the news that Sephiroth was back. As if he had spent all his days and nights wondering if it would happen, only to finally have his suspicions confirmed. He was just too willing to accept the story.

Granted, if the boy had been acting, he was one hell of a good actor. Then again, the spawn of Jenova should not have any problems with pretending to be what they were not.

What really disturbed her, however, happened before their little teleconference. After managing to contact everyone and setting a time, she had gone upstairs to tell Cloud.

She had found him sitting on his bed, cradling the boy and crying.

-

When Cloud said, 'Let's get you some food', he didn't realize that the man had meant getting on a motorcycle and riding off to find some place that was open at this time of the night. Perhaps it was because he was much smaller now, but the scenery seemed to flash by much faster than he was used to. Or perhaps it was because he had been placed in front of Cloud but he had no say in the steering.

He'd never liked to ride pillion. Other than the fact that it had been really uncomfortable stuffing two grown men on one bike, he hated not having control over where he was going. He hated the feeling of being helpless. Also, he had been conditioned by Yazoo's horrible driving. He could swear that his brother enjoyed hearing him stifle screams every time he took a turn too sharply or quickly.

There was definitely a sadistic streak in him. Loz had witnessed it firsthand on their first run-in with the Turks. After they'd captured those two, Kadaj left it up to Yazoo to extract information. And Yazoo… He could only remember too well what his brother did to them. Now, he wasn't one to get queasy about violence and bloodshed. They were a part of battle, and fighting was a game to him. Still, he could hardly bring himself to watch his brother 'work'.

It wasn't excitement, but a cool detachment. The look in Yazoo's eyes had been almost one of intellectual curiosity. Pain seemed to amuse him, but no more than a casual conversation, and that made him all the more frightening.

But Yazoo would never hurt him.

Holding on to that thought, he tried to put the images out of his mind.

Not him, never him.

His knuckles were white.

-

Where did they come from? What were they? How did they first come to be?

When did he start to care?

His first reaction had been disgust. They had called him 'brother', associating him with Jenova. It made him sick; he never wanted to be reminded of that presence in him. Then, they had battled. You just couldn't bring yourself to give a damn about people who were actively seeking to kill you, could you? All he had in his mind was that he had to prevent the reunion.

Pity set in sometime after the entire fiasco. He couldn't forget those green eyes, desperate and afraid. He couldn't forget the battle, where each slash and parry was a plea for validation. He couldn't forget the boy who died in his arms, who had, at the last moment, no one to look to save the enemy who struck him down, abandoned by the 'Mother' he had so admired.

At least Kadaj had ended up in a better place.

He had been so happy when he woke up in the Church. He had thought it was all over, and that he was free to start building a proper life. But then the 'stigma remained. It turned out that the healing rain was only over Midgar. And the suspicion returned: that Sephiroth was still out there somewhere, waiting for a chance. What if the entire event repeated itself again?

They would have called him paranoid, and looked at him with pitying eyes. That was why he couldn't say anything. He tried, he really did try to believe that everything was going to be fine.

Then the sword… and the boy…

And he was right. It wasn't over. Would it ever be?

He heard a little gasp as he turned, perhaps a little too sharply on a road that was too dimly. The kid looked like he was clinging on for dear life.

"I thought you'd be used to bikes?"

"Only when I'm driving," came the choked reply.

It didn't sound like a good idea to continue the questioning, if he didn't want to have to clean his bike. He'd ask when they got there, a nice little 24 hour diner tucked away in a corner where Wall Market used to be.

-

They'd started with the female. Of course, the two valiant ones had protested that they had absolutely no idea where Mother was. They'd begged for their lives and offered to trade for secrets. Standard Turks procedure. Surrender, lie, get out scot-free, get reinforcements. From their (_Sephiroth's_) memory, they knew that much.

So Kadaj gave the order and he carried it out. He started with the female. Stripping off her clothes, water torture, the normal beatings. Nothing. Then he got a little creative with joint manipulation and rape. When he still failed to get anything useful out of the two of them, he'd called his Shadow Creepers and let them loose on her. Hey, they had desires too, you know?

He would never forget her screams. It was quite amazing that such a loud sound could come from such a small body.

Still, it didn't work. Furthermore, there was no way he could continue working on her without her expiring, so he turned to the man. He took his time making hundreds upon thousands of tiny little cuts all over the man's body, then tying the Turks to the back of his bike for a joyride.

It had been an interesting experience. Kadaj and Loz were both with him at the beginning. Kadaj, as usual, couldn't be bothered to get his hands dirty, preferring to watch avidly and throw out little suggestions here and there. Loz disappeared somewhere in the middle of things.

After he was sure he couldn't coax anything more out of the two Turks, he'd gone to look for his lost brother.

Somewhere rather further away than he'd expected, he found Loz polishing his gun, the twin to Velvet Nightmare.

"What are you doing?" he'd asked, feeling a little amused at the homeliness of that action.

His brother had looked up, seen him and gasped. It was then that he realized that he was covered in mud, blood and other unidentified fluids. He must have been a mess. Laughing slightly, he shrugged.

"Yes, I guess I should go clean up."

He was about to leave when he noticed that something was different. It nagged at him but he just couldn't place it. It wasn't until much later that he realized what it was.

His brother had turned away from him.

-

_"… you actually did that?"_

The unwelcome voice roused him fully from his state of half-waking. Damn it. He just wasn't going to get any sleep tonight, was he?

_"You actually called on your monsters to gangbang the girl?"_ The voice sounded incredulous. Even slightly impressed or disturbed.

He ignored Sephiroth, getting up and dusting himself off.

_"And how did you know about that ancient Wutain torture of a thousand cuts?"_

What?

_"Oh the poetic irony of it all…"_

He knew that he should have been flattered by the compliments, but because it was _Sephiroth_, the greatest asshole in the universe, he felt angry instead.

_"I never realized you were such a sadist."_

"I'm not," protested Yazoo, kicking himself when he realized that his plan of ignoring Sephiroth had gone to the dogs.

He received a burst of snide laughter. _"Come off it. Even in your dream, I knew you were enjoying it."_

"It was my task; I did it well."

But the conversation was making him uncomfortable. He remembered how Loz had actually turned away from him that day, whether consciously or not.

_"Even by my standard, that was sick."_

Sick? Was… was that what Loz had thought?

_"Aw, the poor baby couldn't stomach the…"_

"Shut up and say something useful for a change," snapped Yazoo, blood boiling at the mocking mention of his brother. "Where shall we start?"

_"What? Now?"_

"No, five years later. OF COURSE I MEAN NOW!"

While agitating his little avatar was amusing, keeping civil relations would making things much easier. Wisely, Sephiroth decided to back down. _"Well, a good place to start might be Junon."_

Yazoo had called one of his shadow monsters. Sephiroth watched as his avatar used it like a Chocobo. He had, he believed, chosen well. If he had a body, he would have sneered. Just let Strife try to stop this one.

221006


	6. So much kinder to live a lie

A big thank you to my faithful reviewers.

In answer to **The Mad Fangirl**, no, I do not have a Weapon!Vincent crawling around. snigger And who the 'weapon' is will be revealed in the next chapter… if it doesn't become apparent by the end of this one.

In my mind, Kadaj is the driven one, Loz is the sensitive one and Yazoo is totally amoral. Not sure if there's any canon backing to this, but it seems to work ok.

Resonance

06: So Much Kinder to Live a Lie

"I have some questions."

He almost felt sorry for the boy when he saw those small shoulder tense in the middle of a bite. They had gotten to the diner, where he had ordered a sandwich (one of the few things available in the middle of the night. The diner might have been 24 hours, but their chef was not) for the kid and some coffee for himself. The staff had happily acceded to his request to put them in a stall, so they had a little privacy.

"Don't worry, I'm just… curious."

Green eyes looked up at him solemnly, still frightened but not so hysterical now. There was a touch of elegance in the way he sat, like a cat trying to decide if it liked or disliked you, whether or not it should just whisk its tail and walk away. For a moment, Cloud saw the warrior he had faced off. Then it was gone and there was just a small child facing him.

"It's about you guys… and Kadaj…"

The boy flinched visibly at the name.

"Before I met you, what was it like?"

"We were dead." It was a reflexive response, and, judging by the look on the boy's face, he had no idea where it came from either. It wasn't going to stop either. "Drifting, fractured, fragmented from the final attack. His voice called to us, in burning anger and misery. His memories formed figures. In his haste, fractured fragments imagined as wholes."

There were horrified tears on the boy's face as something compelled him to narrate a story he never wanted to recall.

"We woke, broken and torn, incomplete, clinging to each other, grasping at memories to call our own. And he was angry, because neither of us could function outside of the pair. The bond between the two of us, two halves of a soul, was stronger than any that he could hope to make.

"We had to forget that we didn't exist because it drove us mad. Months and months and months of breaking up and re-forming. Then he got his act together and called a third to stabilize things."

"Kadaj," interjected Cloud without meaning to.

The boy swallowed hard, as if trying to stop the words from coming.

"He didn't wake until his memories were complete, so he never had to experience the horror of being dragged screaming into existence. He led us according to Sephiroth's will. We didn't know then. None of us knew."

Then, it was over. For a moment, he thought that the boy had passed out again. Instead, eyes shut, Loz spoke.

"We came back," he whispered hoarsely. When he opened his eyes again, it wasn't a child staring out anymore. "Even this… is according to his will, isn't it? And Yazoo…" He couldn't finish the sentence.

"I'm sorry," was all Cloud could manage.

The sandwich lay forgotten on the small paper plate.

"How?" asked the boy quietly, almost to himself. He looked up at Cloud, intensity burning in his slitted eyes. "How could you face him? Not just once or twice, but thrice? How could you stand up to him, to that indomitable will? How did you best him, when he was a Monster? How did you dare to try?"

"He betrayed me." It wasn't what he meant to say, but somehow, it sounded truer than any reply he had in mind. "He burned down the town that was my home, killed my mother and hurt the girl I believed I loved. I had nothing left to lose when I first attacked him." Absently, his hand drifted over to the scar through which the General had impaled him.

"By the time he came back, I had too much to lose not to attack him." Avalanche, Aeris, Tifa… but it was more than that, wasn't it? Beyond all these noble reasons that didn't quite ring true.

_He betrayed me._ It was a deeper hurt than anything that happened to the people around him. Sephiroth had been his dream, his aspiration, his idol. His God. He'd jumped at the chance to accompany the great general on a mission. But, as his hometown burned down before his eyes, he saw that Sephiroth was nothing but a man. A flawed, petty, egotistical monster of a man. In that moment, his entire system of belief was shattered, and that hurt more than anything else ever could.

Perhaps it was why he had allowed himself to be lost in Zack's personality. Zack, who was friendly, strong and confident. Who never feared nor revered Sephiroth. When his faith in Sephiroth was destroyed, he lost all faith in himself as well, the foolish boy who once worshipped the man who destroyed his life.

It took him a long time to find Cloud Strife again and even longer to accept himself. Even after he'd struck down the general for the second time, he was still looking for something in himself that was worth acknowledging.

He found his reflection in Kadaj. They were both searching for an identity they could live with. And they had both been broken by Sephiroth. It was like watching his own tragedy from a third-person's perspective. He knew then that he had to do it. He had to stop _Sephiroth_ from happening again.

Seeing Kadaj's final smile had given him the closure he needed.

Seeing that damned cleaver had ripped him wide open again.

"Are you going to face him again?" Loz's voice interrupted his thoughts. There was anticipation in the query.

"I… don't know." The brutal honesty of the statement startled the boy. "Because if I do, I'd be letting myself be defined by his existence."

"Then teach me," said the boy, an air of finality in his frail voice. "Teach me how to face him."

He wasn't going to cry anymore. Despite his brother's repeated exhortations, he had never seemed to be able to kick the habit. But he wasn't going to cry anymore. He looked down at his small hands, the weakness apparent in his form. He was never going to be able to wield the Dual Hound like that, but… he could learn to use Velvet Nightmare.

He looked up at nii-san, staring into those blue eyes. "Teach me… how to kill Sephiroth."

-

"Why are you so obsessed with Cloud Strife anyway?" It was really uncomfortable to be riding a galloping Shadow Creeper, so he was not moving along as quickly as it was possible to. Then again, he was in no great hurry. In fact, he had grown rather bored, watching the trees go by and trying not to think about his brother.

_"Obsessed?"_ Was there a hint of defensiveness in that reply? Yazoo smirked inwardly. This could get interesting.

"Yes. I mean, when you first did that 'let's take over the world' thing, you had so many clones to manipulate and you chose him, one of the failed experiments."

_"I wanted Hojo to throw a fit,"_ replied Sephiroth, sniggering.

"Of all the _failed_ experiments, you chose him."

_"What makes you so sure it was a conscious choice?"_ retorted the disembodied voice.

Yazoo rolled his eyes. "Your memories? I have them too, you know?"

_"It was revenge. That blasted kid actually managed to survive my attack!"_

Ah, there it was. Wounded pride. And Sephiroth was beginning to sound a little irritated.

"How about when you tried to get Kadaj to bring you back? Why did you go after Strife again?"

_"And why not? He defeated me!"_

"Twice, if I do recall. What made you think he wouldn't do it again?"

That gave Sephiroth a pause. A truly evil smirk played across Yazoo's face.

"Because it seems to me that you've been very keen to have Strife's long, thick sword in you. Repeatedly."

The disembodied presence spluttered and Yazoo laughed.

"You keep seeking him out, knowing that he just can't wait to sink that enormous length into your body."

_"Stop making it sound like I'm gay for that… that… chocobo head!"_

"Aw, how cute. A pet name?"

There, boredom solved. With half a mind, Yazoo listened patiently to Sephiroth's infuriated ranting, urging his Shadow Creeper to move a little faster.

The sun was beginning to rise. Maybe more monsters would be out soon, so he could find something better to distract himself with. In fact, he was counting on it.

-

It was warm. Opening his eyes, he saw a ceiling, sloping with wooden rafters. Sunlight warmed his face, streaming in from the window by the bedside. He turned his head, thinking for a moment that he would see the yellow blossoms that had become so familiar. The ground was barren. He wasn't home.

Then the pain started, twisting and wrenching in his gut like some rowdy demon he'd swallowed. It was a _gentle_ reminder that he was alive and that he wasn't going to be allowed to die until his task was done. The pain would continue until he accepted it, that he had to go through the motions of living, that he would not be allowed back so soon.

The opening of a door made him turn. A flicker of red that represented the pollution. He reached for his sword.

221006


	7. It is better that I, unlovable, died

It's been awhile, huh? Well, in the interim, I did start a couple of other fics. Also, my exams ended, so I felt free to do other things, which led to my neglect of this fic. But no worries, I shall not abandon this. It's just getting interesting…

Resonance

07: It is better that I, unlovable, died as I am

She had found him near the house, just deep enough in the woods that the lights were obscured by the trees. At first, she nearly thought that the unconscious figure she'd found was a girl. It wasn't until _after_ she had begun undressing him that she realised that, no, in spite of the pink dress, he was _not_ a girl. Definitely not a girl.

It was so late that it was early when she'd found him, and by then, there was no one around to help her drag him home. Of course, she would never have done such a dangerous thing had she known that he wasn't, well, female. Their house was in the middle of nowhere, far too close to the foreboding wood, and there were only the two of them in it, her mother and herself.

However, what was done was done and she couldn't just throw him out after that.

Besides, he looked like an angel when he slept.

Having completed her morning chores, she decided to check in on her foundling. Cracking the door open a notch, she peered in. He stared right back, a look of pure, unadulterated loathing crossing his face. Instinct took over as she slammed the door shut and began to run.

-

Red. Red, red, red, red. The pollution. Tainted. Tainted. Destroy the tainted.

Physical pain, he could ignore, willing the exhausted body to chase the girl that was running away. As he burst out of the house and into the garden, he was hit by a stream of water.

Water…

_"Geostigma is not your priority. You know that, don't you?"_

And he was drowning. A consciousness returning to the body in the lake, feeling muscle re-form over bone. The pressure, the cold, the darkness; water pressing against naked flesh before the skin could grow again. Crushing him. The need to breathe returns twenty feet below the surface, reflex kicking in over and over again as newly formed muscles struggle to move the body toward the air.

Drowning and drowning but never dying once.

Crawling out of the cold, coughing out water and tissue, in pain. It took time for the lungs to air out, for breathing to stop being torture, for screaming to become possible.

He'd dropped his sword, cowering into himself as the girl drenched him with the element of life and death. For a moment, neither could tell which was more afraid of the other,

-

He was discovering things about his new form that he hadn't had time to think about. Firstly, there was the great increase in brute strength he was capable of. Casually, he caught the monster's head in his hand and turned it into a smear on blood on the rocky ground. He hardly needed the cleaver for such low-level creatures. They were beginning to learn. In fact, for the last hour or so, he had had to actively hunt down those little monsters for more experimentation.

Secondly, he could, to a small extent, manipulate reality. It was probably just tapping into a part of Sephiroth's ability. But it meant that he got his coat back… and the second Velvet Nightmare. He wasn't going to use it, of course. Sephiroth had been adamant about that, ranting about the differences between close combat and distance combat, though, in his opinion, using the Masamune counted as a range attack. Besides, it was Loz's gun. He wasn't going to dirty it.

The third thing he noticed when he bent over a pool to drink.

"What are these?" he exclaimed, staring at his reflection.

_"Anyone can tell that they're fangs,"_ replied the voice in his head.

Scowling, Yazoo got up from the pool's edge. "I think the question should have been, 'WHY?'" he shot back.

_"To help you collect Mother's remaining scattered cells."_ The answer came back matter-of-factly.

"Eat them." His voice rang hollowly in the still air. "You were serious about that? So now I'm to be some kind of vampire?"

_"Does the idea of cannibalism disturb you?"_ mocked Sephiroth.

"Is it cannibalism when I'm not human?" retorted Yazoo calmly. A smirk twisted his features. "Don't forget, you're the one who was born to a human mother, not me."

_"I threw that away the moment I found my_ real _Mother,"_ came the reply, a hint of a sneer in the voice.

"Threw what away? Your humanity?"

_"What do you think? When faced with the choice of being a human pawn or a God, isn't the choice obvious?"_

Yazoo said nothing, smirk still plastered on his otherwise expressionless face. Oh, the irony. Who ever knew that the great General was so utterly human?

-

He still had bad memories of water, but he dutifully washed the dirt from his body, toweling off on a fluffy chocobo print towel. Nii-san had found some old clothes for him, the ones that the orphans shared. The dull, earthy colours only served to emphasise his unnatural pallor, his intense green eyes and the silver hair that marked him as different.

Nii-san had said no.

He looked into the mirror to see a small child staring back, shame burning in those wide eyes. Why was it that relief was the only emotion he felt when he was denied of the right to have his revenge? How could he even wish that aniki didn't exist, just so that he could stay here with nii-san, with Cloud, without worrying about Sephiroth? What kind of a brother was he?

And yet, this was supposed to be his second chance, was it not? He would finally be allowed to live, to grow up, to make friends… but it wouldn't be complete without Yazoo… would it?

How could he even consider such a possibility!

Aniki had always looked after him. It was Yazoo who, despite the occasional jibe, sat with him when he cried. It was Yazoo who shielded him from the worst of Kadaj's sadistic nature. It was Yazoo, with his steadfast belief and deep faith, who made everything seem okay. They were going to find their mother and everything would just fall into place.

In the end, it was probably Yazoo who felt the most betrayed. And, in spite of that, he'd made a deal with Sephiroth so that Loz could come back.

How could he even have considered turning away from his brother when Yazoo gave up so much for him?

He'd been in the bathroom long enough. Hesitantly, he peeped out to check that the coast was clear. Even though nii-san was okay with him, he wasn't sure if the other inhabitants of the house were as willing to accept him. It was best not to run into them unless he was with nii-san. Looking around carefully, he stepped out of the bathroom and into the corridor.

He froze.

There were two children staring down the hallway at him. He _knew_ them. The boy was part of Kadaj's little troop, one of the many children they'd picked up back then. The girl was the one he personally kidnapped. She was nice; she talked to him like an equal until Kadaj got annoyed and assigned Yazoo to watch her. Then she didn't talk so much, because Yazoo could be really scary when you were a little kid. He'd know.

_"Please don't let them recognise me."_

The boy frowned at him, eyes darting to the shock of silver hair in suspicion. "Who are you?" he demanded, stepping unconsciously in front of the girl, defensively.

"I… I…" Loz stammered. What was he going to say? Without his noticing, he'd already taken a few steps backward. "My name is Loz," he replied finally, very, very softly, head bowed, eyes fixed on the boy, ready to run.

The girl took a step forward, then smiled slightly, causing him to look up in surprise. "Don't be scared, no one is going to hurt you here," she told him. Then, looking past the stunned Loz, "Cloud!"

He felt the hand casually ruffling his hair. Looking up, he saw a shadow of worry in nii-san's eyes. Worried… that he was not as harmless as he seemed?

"Is he going to stay here?" asked the girl cheerfully. "He can come help us with the morning chores."

"He stays with me," said Cloud shortly. Seeing Marlene's confused expression and Denzel's dark look, he forced a small, sad smile. "He's been through a lot in the past day or so, so I'm going to get him settled first, okay? I'll introduce him to the rest of you later."

Marlene nodded gravely, shooting Loz a pitying look, obviously assuming the worst. On his part, he hid behind Cloud's legs and watched the children walk pass.

"Are you concerned that I would harm them?" he asked quietly when they were gone.

"Tifa wouldn't have liked it," replied Cloud just as quietly, absently stroking the silver hair.

At that, the treacherous thoughts returned. If only he could just be a normal child, if only…

-

The… man (creature? monster?) was now screaming, shrinking away from the water as if it burned him. It was such a pained, desperate cry that she hesitated, turning the hose down.

"Who are you and why are you trying to kill me?" she managed to ask, pleased that her voice wasn't trembling too perceptibly. "Tell me or I'll turn the hose on you again." It sounded ridiculous, as though she was talking to a dog, but apparently, it worked.

Hateful green eyes glared up at her. His voice startled her, sounding so much younger than she'd expected. "You are tainted… Geostigma…" he rasped. "Return you to the planet… purification…" He trailed off, collapsing in obvious pain, breathing harshly.

While she was beginning to understand his motivations, she was, however, not prepared to die for the planet. However, the sight of the youth curled up in her now-muddy garden tugged at her heartstrings and she carefully turned off the hose, aiming it at the young man.

"While it is obvious you are on some kind of mission to 'save the planet', I will not hesitate to harm you if you wish to harm me," she told him matter-of-factly. "However, I am sympathetic to what you seem to be doing, so let's make a deal."

She'd underestimated the swordsman. In the moment she let down her guard, he was by her side, double-bladed sword pressed to her throat.

"Yes, let's make a deal," he whispered by her ear. Even through her fear, she could hear that he was on the brink of collapse. "Food, clothes, shelter and passage from this place. Then I'll leave you alive until it's time for me to leave here."

"What kind of a…"

"Say 'no', you die."

"…alright."

Then the youth did collapse again. Still, she would keep her side of the bargain. Perhaps she could convince him not to keep his.

251206


End file.
